We’ve all heard something along the lines of “You should stay home with your baby,” “Breast is best,” or “You should never let your child sleep in your bed.” I am extremely curious as to when people began thinking it is acceptable to criticize a mother for… Being a mother? We are designed to care for our children in the best way possible, so there is no need for others to chime in. Have we not grasped the fact that EVERYONE has different opinions on everything?
As a young mom, I received so much of this type of “advice” in the beginning. I didn’t know how to respond at first, so I would just listen and then go about my own way of doing things. Now, I tell people straight up that I have this under control! My child is happy, healthy, and well-mannered… Which is more than I can say for those who continue to hand out unwanted comments.
Yes, days are long. Yes, I struggle on a regular basis. Yes, I am trying my hardest. All of this makes me a stronger mom. Tearing down and criticizing other moms is not helpful! We all need to learn to build one another up and be there for support. As moms, we get handed a reason to constantly worry from the moment we learn we are pregnant. What can I eat that is good for the baby? What kind of exercise can I do that won’t hurt my child? What is the best stroller/crib/car seat…? The list goes on and on and on. The worrying increases exponentially once the baby is brought into the world. The last thing we need is to be bashed by other moms who are going through the exact same thing.
Instead of telling a mother that she should be breast feeding, tell her that she is doing an amazing job keeping her baby fed! Rather than scorning a working mom, let her know that she is helping her family by bringing in the extra income. If you want the bonding experience of co-sleeping, go for it (as long as baby is safe)!
There are millions of ways to parent, and millions of different types of parents out there. No two moms will do everything exactly the same way. Let’s learn to make each other stronger because these other moms are raising the people our own children will play sports with, sit by in class, and date. The worry of a mother will never go away, but the stress of other moms judging you should not add onto your list.
With Love, Jeni